Hope I didn’t jinx you turkey hunters

Dwain Walden

MOULTRIE — Every deer season I offer my warning about novice hunters shooting cows, dogs, horses and people after mistakenly identifying them as game. For some reason, I have never issued a similar warning at the onset of turkey season, which is now upon us.

It could be because I’ve yet to hear of anyone being mistaken for a turkey, which I think is ironic given that we probably have more turkey resemblance out there than we do deer look-a-likes. What I mean is, I would think that during spring gobbler season we would lose at least two politicians for the obvious reasons and perhaps one Indian chief, also for the obvious reason.

I’m not a turkey hunter but I did bag one big gobbler when I was a teen-ager.

I was squirrel hunting on the coldest day of the year when I happened upon a gobbler. I shot it and very proudly took it home. Then I very humbly dressed it all by myself in 18-degree weather. The whole time I was thinking that for just a few bucks I could have bought a turkey already dressed at the grocery store ... a warm grocery store.

Now in bringing up this subject, I hope I have not jinxed the whole matter by saying that so far I haven’t heard of anyone mistaking someone for a turkey and shooting him. I’ve watched lots of football where an announcer brags about how a quarterback hasn’t thrown an interception in five straight games and on the very next play he gives it up.

Actually, I really don’t believe in jinxing stuff although as kids we used to try it while shooting marbles. We would wave our hands and yell “monkey dust!” just before an opponent shot. I have no idea what “monkey dust” is unless it has something to do with an orangutan dipping snuff. It was just handed down by marble shooters before us, and we never questioned it.

I think maybe fewer people turkey hunt than deer hunt which aids the safety issue. As well, I think it takes much greater skill and knowledge to hunt turkey than to hunt deer, thus maybe a greater level of intelligence when combined with a deadly weapon makes for a better outcome. Just a hunch.

As well, turkey hunters use shotguns instead of rifles so the range of the weapon is much less, minimizing the chance of carnage on an errant shot. The turkey has to be closer than a deer for a kill shot. So that proximity would decrease the chances of a politician, an Indian chief or a Yankee Doodle with a feather stuck in his hat being mistaken as turkeys.

By the way, why did old Doodle call his feather macaroni? I don’ see any resemblance. And because I didn’t do the best job of dressing that turkey, I know that a feather taste nothing like a noodle.

So, maybe this tendency of mistaken identity in the wild has its founding in our forefathers’ melodic essays. Or maybe there’s no correlation ... after all, this guy Doodle was a Yankee.

Whatever, I would be remiss not to remind those who go for the gobble to be very careful. Even if you hear a gobble, don’t shoot until you can positively identify it’s the right bird. Remember that it is an election year and there are some people out there who can sound and act much like turkeys.

Dwain Walden is editor/publisher of The Moultrie Observer, 985-4545. E-mail dwain.walden@gaflnews.com.

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