AMERICUS — “Everybody talks about the weather, but no one does anything about it.” Mark Twain.



We who live in Southwest Georgia are fortunate to have almost perfect weather conditions in all seasons: Warm summers, balmy springs and falls, and cool winters.



Mark me down as a hot weather guy. I am into global warming. I knew what I was getting into when, five years ago we pulled up stakes, folded our tents and moved here from the tundra known as Atlanta. Before you second guess me, think about it.



It gets just as hot in New York City and Chicago as it does in Americus. Look on any weather map and the country, for the most part, roasts in the summertime. But check out that same map in the winter when everything north of I-16 is frozen solid. We, my friends, are blessed. Consider Virginia.



Virginians, as a group are very proud of their state, and rightly so. I married the Virginian of all Virginians. The first question my bride put to me was, “From what part of Virginia do your people come.” Well, my people did come from Virginia originally, but they found it too cold in the winter so they migrated to Southwest Georgia.



As a matter of fact, I once visited my in-laws in Virginia when a pretty serious snowfall occurred. Name me anyone from the Deep South who is not fascinated by snow. Looking at it through an insulated glass window can be beautiful…for about two hours. After that, reality sets in.



Trying to be the good son-in-law, I offered to help shovel snow. I thought my wife’s dad was just being neighborly by clearing the sidewalks and steps in front of their house. Turns out, it is the LAW!



I dressed in a borrowed snow suit and looked like the Michelin Tire Man. Bravely, I headed out into the cold. After about five minutes of vigorous shoveling and copious amounts of sweating, I meekly suggested we pool our resources to purchase a gas powered snow blower or a plane ticket to Florida. He wasn’t amused.



The fact is we in the Deep South don’t even have to think about shoveling snow, EVER! We might have some cool, maybe even cold days in the winter, but they are few and far between. We might have a flurry or two, as we did this past winter, but never enough for a snow shovel or a one-way ticket to Florida. Yankees come here to escape those northern winters and to tell us how to live our lives.



In the long summers we have many swimming pools and more-than-adequate air conditioning. I love hot weather, but not without air conditioning. The good Lord gave us the knowledge and ability to invent air conditioning and we ought to take full advantage of it. I keep mine cranked down in the low 70’s and as long as I can pay the bill that’s where it will stay. I like the contrast.



And even if we have a couple of tradeoffs, I’ll take the Deep South any day. Gnats can be annoying for the inexperienced, but I always try to consider that gnats can not survive Arctic temperatures. I welcome them to my front porch and yard and see them as a reassuring sign that we do not live in polar conditions. I choose gnats over cold weather. If the gnats start bothering me, I go inside where it is cool and gnat free. If I get cold, I come back out with the gnats. It’s a tradeoff.



I’ve even threatened to name a couple of the larger gnats. “Andy and Barney” come to mind. I had a pesky carpenter bee one time which I cleverly named “Aunt Bee.” I killed her with a stick.



Thank goodness for Southwest Georgia heat, but thank goodness that we have a world where people of different wants and needs can live where they are most comfortable. I want everybody to be happy and I want them to stay put. I just don’t think I could bear the thought of all those Yankees telling us how they “do it in New Jersey.”



That’s another good reason to keep the gnats around.