Americus Times-Recorder, Americus, Georgia

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July 2, 2009

Becky Holland - Food Thief

AMERICUS — There is a food thief lurking around my house.

I got up this morning, got a Smucker’s Peanut Butter and Honey sandwich out of the freeze and put it down on the coffee table with my apple and juice, and went back into the kitchen to get my daily medicines(thyroid and hormones - welcome to being almost 40!), and when I came back, my sandwich was gone. Completely and utterly gone.

I know I put it there. Or at least I thought I did. It is kind of like my sandwich cookies (you know the generic Oreos) that I had left on the table by my couch(which I got at the Habitat ReStore -and they delivered it too! Great couch! Thanks, Timothy!) and when I came back from answering my phone, they were gone too.

I thought at first it was some kind of ghost or something in my house that my grandmother Holland may have sent to watch over me, to remind me to eat my meals at the kitchen table, instead of in front of the television. (Southern girls should have better manners! Ha!)

So I decided to do a little searching and see if I could capture this food thief. I have seen mice take off with food and all, but nothing that big, wrapper and all.

I was home at lunch, and had a Healthy Choice meal(try them, they are good!), and put a couple of cookies down on the table, and was watching television, when this medium sized, well, maybe not even medium sized, black object crawled behind me, almost pushing me out of the way, heading for my cookies.

I thought at first maybe it was a big roach or something, but then I could have sworn I felt some fur or hair touching the back of my neck. And it wasn’t mine.

Be assured, I am not a drinker. Don’t like the taste of alcohol. I don’t do drugs, except for my Menopause drugs - hormones and thyroid, and only do a little coke once in a while - Coca Cola, good grief!

So, I know I was not dreaming or imagining anything. I just couldn’t believe that the food thief was going to have the audacity to steal my food with me right there!

I grabbed the pillow beside me, thinking I would swat it before it grabbed my cookies.

“TOBY JEB HOLLAND, what are you doing?” I scolded, trying to give my best “if momma ain’t happy, then no one’s happy” look.

My canine companion and bestest friend , Toby, scooted down to the other end of the couch. He wouldn’t look at me.

“Toby, what do you have?”

Very slowly, he turned around, with a whole cookie in his mouth, only showing out the sides, and I swear, my dog grinned at me.

I just shook my head, then I started to laugh myself, as I watched him attempt to eat the cookie whole without showing me what he was doing.

Memories of times growing up in the Holland house, and visiting my grandparents - Madison and Holland, and raiding the kitchen for cookies, and attempting to hide the evidence when found out, flooded back.

I bet some of you have memories like that too.

Stealing cookies, pieces of candy, watermelon, and those buttermints that Momma or Grandma M.(can’t remember which) would put out at holidays or family dinners was always fun and a challenge for us kids — even our dads and Grandpa would get in on the act.

Ooh, and the nights that they put out the relish plate with the dill pickles, or my favorite, deviled eggs - it is a wonder any of us wanted any of the main course after our hidden snacking.

Those were the days, family fun, family snacking, and family times.

Saturday is a big holiday, and people are planning their picnics, fireworks and so much more. .

As for me and my food thief, though one of us will be working on the 4th, we will be entertaining family part of the weekend. And guess what, I am cooking.

Yes, I said it... I am cooking. (Not sure why but I got a call from the Americus Fire and Emergency Services station one and they said they would be on alert!).

Whatever you are doing Saturday, I hope you relish those memories, enjoy making new ones and use the day for the right purpose . And I really don’t have to go muc h further than that, do I? You can read between the lines, right?

As we are celebrating the 4th, I will also be celebrating my year anniversary of being in Americus as a part of this community, this newspaper and my church. Someone asked me recently if I had the chance, would I still have taken the job and come to Americus?

Of course. And miss all of this action? Thanks for all your support, your words and for you allowing me to share your stories and share my little random thoughts with you! Here’s to many more years!

Becky Holland is the news and education editor of the Americus Times — Recorder and she can be reached at becky.holland@gaflnews.com or at (229)924-2751.

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